


Netflix

by bfcure



Series: My Fics in English [3]
Category: Jessica Jones (TV), Supernatural
Genre: Drama, Emotionally Hurt Castiel, Episode: s08e17 Goodbye Stranger, Episode: s11e06 Our Little World, Gen, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 01:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7146965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bfcure/pseuds/bfcure
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel watches "Jessica Jones" and finds some parallels...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Netflix

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so all the mistakes are mine and I'm sorry in advance.

Castiel likes Netflix. He can choose any movie or TV series and forget for a few hours how he attacked Dean, sending him into wall and breaking his jaw. 

Sam’s room is nice: his bed is wide and soft, the subdued light of the lamp doesn’t hurt Castiel’s tired eyes and TV screen is big enough to see all the details without sitting too close. 

Castiel wraps the blanket around him tighter. It’s plain and well-worn but he still feels the heat of Dean’s touch when the hunter put the blanket around his shoulders and that’s why it warms not only his body but his heart as well. Castiel takes the remote and changes the channels, carefully sipping his tea. He isn’t thirsty; still he thinks: if caring could have a certain flavor, this flavor would be sweet tea with lemon — the hot liquid chases the last traces of Rowena’s icy and burning curse away.

At first it’s the intro that catches Castiel’s attention: the titles are purple and black and the music is angsty, almost disturbing.

Later he cannot take his eyes off the screen because Jessica Jones makes him remember everything he tries to forget. Castiel cannot deal with the burden of memories but he can’t help recalling the events in all gruesome details.

It seems Killgrave is nothing like Naomi, but both of them like the uncontrollable power and their methods are quite similar: they control minds, trying to turn their victims into puppets that are ready to carry out their every order.

“You want it. You know you do”, Killgrave whispers. 

Jessica flinches and Castiel flinches with her. 

He hears Naomi’s suave voice: “This is what your heart desires, isn’t it, Castiel? You want to bring peace to Heaven and Earth. And you know what you have to do”. 

Castiel remembers: after that he reached for his blade. He did it against his will, but he couldn’t find the strength to fight Naomi’s order. The copies of Dean waited for him behind white doors.

“Let’s start with a smile”, Killgrave sneers and Castiel winces when another cruel memory comes to his mind.

“Smile, Castiel”, Naomi cooed, tapping his arm in approval. His hand was numb because he had used the blade about thousand times. “You made a complete recovery. Bring me the tablet and all your dreams will come true”.

For a moment her own smile became predatory, but Castiel blinked and the delusion disappeared.

Castiel isn’t sure he can watch further. Dean said that sitting in the bunker all the time isn’t healthy. Yes, it’s Castiel’s home now but he is a warrior and warriors have to fight, they don’t hide in the shelters. Actually, Dean said something else entirely (“Sammy and me, we are worrying about you, buddy”), but Castiel thought they wanted him to be useful again. However, he is scared to go outside. He’ll make a mistake and then someone will die.

He saw a lot of deaths already and he had enough.

Meanwhile Luke Cage throws Jessica on the ground and she begs him to stop. At least she can save herself: she is as strong as Luke. Castiel did not leave Dean any chance. It was pure luck that he was able to stop before he killed Dean with the last, mortal blow.

“Cas, it’s not you”, Dean exhaled. “Cas, please”. 

Castiel touched him, meaning to heal his wounds, but Dean recoiled from his fingers and this memory still hurts the most.

“Smile”, Jessica asks and breaks Killgrave’s neck. 

Castiel begins to breathe again. He does not have any sympathy for Killgrave but he feels sorrow for Naomi.

She tried to warn him, asked him not to trust Metatron. Castiel did not believe her. He couldn’t, not after what happened in Lucifer’s crypt.

Jessica drinks whiskey but it’s not a celebration: a lot of people are waiting for her help.

It’s a pity that Jessica Jones isn’t real.

Castiel would have asked her how she deals with the guilt.


End file.
